Standing Still

A long long time ago, there was a girl, with Blonde, yet fading to brown hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile. She lived in a house with two rabbits, one who was small and friendly, the other who was rather large and grumpy. She liked to watch DVDs, mostly of the Children's variety, perhaps on the attempt of taking her back to when she was at her happiest, she liked to cook, clean, take care of her house and enjoyed writing her Blog.

Nowadays, she spends most of her time, standing still. Lost in a world of chaos and anger, forgetting all her chores and spending most of her days wishing for the end to arrive so she can carry on doing nothing at home.

I have hit a 'Winter-Blues' low. I don't particularly have anything to be sad about, apart from the everyday things we hear on the news, but I am feeling ill at present and this sense of self-pity has hit an all time high of late. I am tired, almost constantly, and everything is irritating me, whether it be someone putting a bowl the wrong way up in the dishwasher or someone driving inanely in front of me so I miss the lights. I am finding myself getting more and more bitter towards people who do wrong, even for the smallest thing, that most would brush off like crumbs from a biscuit they'd just eaten over their desk. For me, the fact that I had biscuit crumbs stuck in my keyboard would drive me round the bend. I would imagine picking at it and shaking it until they'd all come out, then accidentally knocking over my tea with my elbow whilst doing so...all this, combined with not being able to park outside the office because I'd missed those lights from the morning? Would make me burst into tears. Yes, that's how easily I cry. You think I'm depressed? Well, you'd be wrong, (for once-I'm sure most of your assumptions are correct about me) in actual fact, i am just stuck. Stuck in the biggest rut that has taken up most of my 20s. You see, when you are at school, you have a schedule, a mini-life plan, so that everyday you know what's happening and who you're going to see and generally the things you look forward to don't differ. This mostly follows on to University, aside from the fact you actually chose this subject and weren't forced to study it...despite regretting choosing it so many times over. You have a purpose, a general role in life. And now what? You have this great big empty hole in your life allowing you to what the hell you want, 'the world's your oyster' Well, woophie doo. Thanks a lot, I would rather the world be a car park, at least then I would know which way to turn.

So there you have it, a long wait of almost 3 weeks, and that's all you're gonna get. Sorry people, but I'm just not that motivated at present. Any ideas on how to feel fulfilled? Suggestions welcome.

Kind Regards,

Miserable Cow.

The End.

Angel

I am sad to say, that this little boy has affected my life so much even though I never knew him, that the emotion I have felt, has barely even entered his mother's heart. I have been devastated by the news of Baby P, whom some are calling Peter, that I felt it was necessary to pay a tribute to such a young and brave little soul.


May you Rest in Peace

http://baby-p.2006-2007.gonetoosoon.org/memorial/

* Please pay your own tribute via the link above *

Remember

For all of those who died for us, today we mark the 90th Anniversary of Armistice Day

Just Stuff

I am sitting here, with my Campo Viejo Rioja Crianza, listening to Aaliyah, Try Again, recently sprung back into iTunes action due to the simple words in His blog. I apologise for the gaps of late, it has been a considerably tough few months to be honest. I have changed my career-mind about 4 times, and hopefully have finally picked the one that will last a few years. I am now in IT. Wow, Information Technology, a whole category of new beginnings and things I don't understand. Love a good challenge! Well, I am a software tester/technical writer. Technical being the positive word in that sentence, as clearly I am not too great at the normal kind.

Besides the chaotic chapter that has been the subject of my career, I don't have an awful lot to report. How boring?...you must think, well in truth you'd be right. However, I did go out on Saturday which is something I haven't done in goodness knows how long...and I obviously forgot the effects of a hangover, as despite not being able to sleep in past 8 o clock after a mere 5 hours drunken slumber, one arm and leg on the bed, the other pair twisted underneath half my clothing off the bed, I got up and moved to the sofa, only to spend the next 3 hours watching the Hollyoaks Omnibus, unable to move for fear of throwing up. Being sick has been a rarity in my life, luckily, some might think, but really I would rather just up and get it over with. Rather than laying about all day in some miserable stupor, eating more toast than I deem to be healthy and wanting a waiter more than ever before. The only thing I managed all day on Sunday was weeding the front garden, (so overdue I forgot which plants I even had and started pulling them out instead of the weeds at one point) that and cleaning out the kids/buns.

Friday night however, I rediscovered two old friends. Her and Her. I felt rather privileged, having both in my living room at the same time, still as scared as ever of the latter female and all her antics. Thank god for the walk-through that's what I say. Great fun! I felt a bit mean ignoring the 'trick or treaters' though for the fear that overcame us both so much so we were too scared to open the door. Hey ho, sweets will only make you fat. Except if you are my father and Charlotte Mantle (the skinniest girl with the biggest appetite that I know).

Best song I heard today: (bar the one I am listening to now-on repeat I might add..No I can't type that fast!)

Wada Na Tod, Lata Mangeshkar

Best thing that happened today:

Bumping into a much-missed friend in Ikea whilst shopping for the new office plants.

Daftest thing I did today:

Booked another night out mid-week along with the four others next week...umm...

Favourite photo this week:

Baby Dracula...aka, my Godson, Jack Weedon

Meme Time!

Hurrah, I love finding reasons to blog. My biggest worry? No not that my responses will near enough run parallel to my sisters'...that's my second biggest worry, my biggest is the fact I do not know 7 other bloggers! Need to kick start some more friends into this...

Display the award. Link back to the person who gave you this award. Nominate at least 7 other blogs. Put links to those blogs on your blog. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you've nominated. You can only answer in one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk

2. Where is your significant other? Bedroom

3. Your hair colour? Blonde

4. Your mother? Generous

5. Your father? Idol

6. Your favourite thing? Music

7. Your dream last night? Painful

8. Your dream/goal? Fulfillment

9. The room you're in? Study

10. Your hobby? Painting

11. Your fear? Failure

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Married

13. Where were you last night? Walton

14. What you're not? Photogenic

15. One of your wish-list items? Z4

16. Where you grew up? Walton

17. The last thing you did? Sing

18. What are you wearing? Slobbies

19. Your TV? Off

20. Your pet? Adorable

21. Your computer? Saviour

22. Your mood? Ambivalent

23. Missing someone? Yes

24. Your car? Dirty

25. Something you're not wearing? Jewellery

26. Favourite store? Reiss

27. Your summer?Distant

28. Love someone? Yes

29. Your favorite colour? Carmine

30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Today

Hmmm, I am going to do my best, with Her, Her, them and ??? I'll come back to you :)

I love this...

Some of my Paintings, quite badly photographed...

Just thought I would upload a few of my paintings...the last is yet to be finished and definitely needs more work. I am attempting to determined my 'style' at some point...not quite there yet. Feel free to be brutally honest! (it's not my day job after all...thank god!)

Rather vivid images of my Dad, not entirely sure why I felt the need to photograph it pissed...but clearly something was up when I took this. ( I need to re-photograph all my work, but most of it is in storage!-including this)

My Grandad, 96 years old, he was about 92 I think when the picture was taken, and I painted him about a year later

My should-have-been-God daughter, Livi, her younger brother is my Godson, and she's coming over tomorrow! She was about 5 when I took this photograph, I thought she had some attitude so I painted her!

Lastly, my current painting that has been going on for about 3 months, is one of a friend's granddaughter. I promised I would finish it weeks ago...maybe it's time this weekend to finally do that.

Because I Can't Resist...

And they're my true inspiration to start posting on my blog again...

I, Robot

Yes, that's right, you read the title correctly, I think I am a robot. Aside from the fact I have more OCDs than David Beckham, and the fact I am clearly allergic to everything electronic...or should I say everything else electronic, I do actually think magnets run through my veins. I seem to break every mobile phone within four months of owning it, and must have battled with at least three pieces of hardware (meaning PCs etc) during my University years as nearly all of them had some fault or other. But the phone thing? That does really get to me. I had six phones in one year once. Ridiculous I know, but honestly, when I call up O2 nowadays, all they say is, 'What handset do you want to try now?' Even they've stopped doubting that I drop them down the toilet before phoning. But I can't omit that when my phone does switch off in the middle of a six-part text message full of gossip to Louise, that I do tend to throw it across the room in some kind of fit of feral rage. The saddest part is last year...hmmm let me think, probably about three phones ago, I had a lovely Nokia 6300 which took fab pictures and I loved it dearly, it never crashed, never died of battery seven hours after I'd last charged it, it was just brilliant. Until the night I left it in the Jovial Sailor in Ripley. That Sailor wasn't feeling particularly jovial the next morning after I ranted and raved at the staff claiming some horrible cleaner had stolen it. Well, in any case, it had gone, along with my lovely text messages (some say keeping up to 1000 in your inbox may cause it to crash therefore could be the root of all my problems, but I say, what's the point in the memory allowing it to contain more than 1000 texts if it can't handle it?) and all my lovely photographs, such included photos of my dearly beloved Nanny and Grandad, (aged nearly 81 and 96) poppies in their garden, and some rather embarrassing ones of me posing...in ah hem, let's just say in the way a 13 year old poses when she tries on her first bra in the changing rooms. Anyway, after this I was sick, sick with anger at the first phone I'd lost that I wasn't able to retrieve. Obviously down to the credit-crunch that seems to have lasted my entire adult life, I didn't feel up to paying £7.99 a month for insurance. So, with desperation, I asked O2 how much was the cheapest (and probably most shittiest) phone they'd got. What luck! When they said I could buy the same lovely Nokia I'd had previously for just £50. This may seem like a lot to some readers, but honestly, my phone is my life...at least I haven't got into blackberries yet eh? Anyway, I waited and it arrived, without a box, a soul or a memory card. (this is what happens when you buy them cheap and 're-furbished'-knowing my luck it was probably my original phone that had been sold on). I soon discovered that a lack of memory card was like lacking a brain or a pulse. It functioned, barely and after 9 short months, I was back on the phone to O2 asking what was out next. Choosing the upgraded version of the same phone (it's basically thinner, silver and harder to text on) I was happy at least that it came with some decent image memory. Well, I can reveal, that four months on, true to the day, it has crashed. On more than one occasion. And before you ask, yes I do have 1378 text messages in the inbox still. Maybe it's me after all.

The End of an Era

Just before I launch into a sobbing account of my last few days at Curchods...I must put these Lyrics to my dear sister...they mean a lot to me!

A Sisters Social Agony Lyrics

She'll know when she's sad that I love her.



Well, what can I say, I probably did more work today for my beloved Estate Agent than I've done in the past five months. Weird how it turned out, I tried my best to chill out, take it easy, but no matter how many phone calls I took asking for viewings/photographs/last minute agency agreements...I couldn't find it in myself to say no to them. We had enough viewings in the diary, yet I carried on, plugging away, phone call after phone call of irritatingly obvious calls such as, ''Where's the property that I'm viewing 10 minutes ago on Blackwood Close???'' Oh and '' We've had Se*mours round to value as well, oh no, we're not going on joint but we just want a new perspective...'' and yet I still continued my ever so delightful, helpful front of, 'Of course we can do that Sir, yes Sir, no Sir, three bags and two bottles full Sir.'' But somehow, after all the stresses, I found myself not wanting to leave, not wanting to bring that board in a final time, lock the door and leave the dirty mugs in the sink, I wanted to sit it out, breathe the Curchods air and live it just one last time. Quite sad really, my colleague (who shall be greatly missed) also popped in to say his final goodbyes, and I'm not afraid to admit, that after all the tears on Thursday, I shed one or two for him today. Not like that, he is just a lovely chap and was a good laugh. The following quotes are my Homage to West Byfleet Curchods, no one will understand them, but they shall make me laugh when I'm old and wrinkly and reading through this again.



''Oh hello, is Lee there please, it's Brenda Pemble, I can't do it, No, I can't do it, they're taking the oil as well, and the fences...''



''Oh ello...it's Shiiiiirley Turner...I've just popped out to Chertsey Road to get the Prowwbate sorted. the pwooobate you see, I was ever so pwroud.''



''You've lost a client. It's Jan Kamburoff, no no I can't do it Sophie, I just can't see the sky...I can't see the front door from the photo...Has Lee told you? I've lost my bridge, so I can't twalk poroperly...''



''Oh right okay! okay alright that's fine, yeah no worries, okay that's alright, okay Bye!''



''It's David Skilton.....''(enough said) And THAT grin.



''Hi Sophie, it's Kllaaaaaaas, is Mark there?''



''Bom ba bom bom bom..yeeeeeeeeooooouw...Um, well, ah No.... but what I have done, is I have drafted a letter...''



''Oh nooo, NO the Pylons are fine, no no no trouble at all, not been a problem at all. Nope, living with Pylons is just fine''



''Haallloooooooo''



''Dr Byrne! Well, Carol likes to sleep in the summer house cos it's so quiet''

And finally....



''Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim'' (sung rather like Pavarotti)



I probably could go on for hours, but then I would truly lose all my readers. Sorry for the rather self-absorbed post (haha, what tautology, they all are, surely?!) but I felt rather reflective today...and needed to get it out of me.



Best thing that happened today:

I realised the issue from Mr Allport's latest phone call was for once not going to be dealt with by me. :)

Worst thing that happened today:

I may have sold a house I won't be paid on. Bugger.

Best Song tonight:

Teenager, Camera Obscura (if you're lucky I'll inflict another YouTube video on you all hehe).

I want everyone to listen to this and love it as much as I do :)

For when you need a laugh

September Success

I am unbelievably happy today, firstly, it's my day off, secondly, I bought two pairs of amazing shoes on Thursday followed by some rather nice boots today, and thirdly, and probably most importantly, my dear little rose has finally grown a bud. If any of you can recall a post I wrote about a month ago, I talked about a special rose plant that my Mum had given me to nurture. With great patience, and an awful lot of Rose Bug Spray, it has at last given me a rose. I am overjoyed! (that means I must have done something right, considering not everything lives in my garden, recently my Red Hot Poker died on me suddenly in an oozing mass of rotten sludge). The colour is beautiful too, here it is in all its (small) glory.
I also appear to have sorted out my life, well, to a degree. I have one week left at work, and then I'm off to pastures new. I will be working for a particularly small company in the heart of Fulham, (god knows how I'm going to stay away from the interiors shops-possibly the reminder of various overdraft limits), and then I shall become a Product Specialist for a particularly new Business which I am very excited to get into. Not wanting to give too much away (as I know there are strange people out there, I'll just say that I'll be working my socks off and only my sister knows the details.)

So, back to the shoes, well I can hardly contain my excitement about them, I have been walking around the house in them for the last 2 days, even though my feet are crippled from the 10 hour walk around London on Thursday. But how can I afford them? Well, I can't to be frank, my parents are paying for one pair (birthday present) and I am, well, my credit card is temporarily paying for the other. The boots were partly a birthday present from my delightful best friends, and partly 30% off, and partly, well again, Mr C Card. But! I am getting about 7 months of petrol allowance in this month's pay slip, plus some commission (for once!) so I feel less guilty than I would normally.

Anyway, the day is still young, I'm off to flog a desk and some shelves on Ebay. Or if I can't be bothered, then I'll probably just take them down the dump. If anyone needs them, let me know!

Nicest thing I ate today:

Toasted cheese and ham sandwiches made in my new (birthday present again) Breville toasted sandwich maker. Sometimes, you simply can't beat good old comfort food.

Crappest thing I discovered today:

My toilet seat is now completely broken.

Thing I am most likely to avoid doing this weekend:

Re-felting the shed roof.

Blogger's Block

Yes, that's right, I have nothing more (at present) to write. I could fill these posts with mindless crap about nonsense, which lets face it, is what I normally do, but I thought I would save you all(all being said lightly I know I only have about 4 regular readers) the boredom and stop for a while.

I often think of rich artistic prose, full of nuance, write it down and can't believe of how little importance it all is. It is a struggle I feel, to write a blog and be funny at the same time. I have noticed from other blogs that most writers have a particular air to the way they write, and a certain subtlety with humour, that I feel I cannot grasp as well as I would like to. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm hilarious, but I'm sure most of you don't. I could prattle on for days about this story that happened to me and that...but at the end of the day, does anyone other than myself really care? I have noticed that my posts are often quite dull and depressing too, and I wouldn't want anyone to think I have 'issues' so to speak, far from it, I just like moaning really.

I am, after reading one of her more recent posts, ever so tempted to talk about a particular person who does find interest in my blog and generally my day to day life. I find this a little creepy, and to be honest, I too agree with my sister on the fact that I wish I had a private blog sometimes, to keep the weirdos from finding too much out about me. Hey ho, I could stop writing it I suppose! But then what would I do while I'm at work, dejected beyond belief?

I leave you with an apology, for the most boring blog post ever. Oh and a fab song:

Tears for Fears

I have now made myself a promise, which I must stick to. I will not watch anymore episodes of Eastenders. One tragedy a year please BBC, as Sophie cannot cope with the likes of Jim returning after his stroke left him unable to talk properly, nor can she cope with the fact Jay has now lost his remaining next of kin. Tonight, I bellowed with tears, and have now come to terms with the fact that the reason I am constantly paranoid, worried and oversensitive, is because Soaps bring to life all the things you think will never happen to you...more than 10 times a week, what with Hollyoaks, (recently Max dying leaving his poor younger and adorable brother Tom alone, with once again, no living relatives) Coronation Street and Eastenders. It is just too much heartache. Therefore, I shall soon have more time on my hands so if anyone thinks of any ideas to fill these hourly gaps in my evenings, I should greatly appreciate any response. Ta.

Onto more slightly less melancholic themes, music has taken over my life! I have listened to the Mamma Mia! soundtrack a cool 26 times since downloading it on Monday, and can say with some merit that I now know all the words to all the songs. Favourite is Honey Honey (just cos her voice is so nice) but SOS comes a close second, probably due to the fact Pierce Brosnan is possibly the most unlikely impersonator for ABBA. I have also downloaded Eva Cassidy's latest string of woeful tunes, which has suitably become my wine drinking play list. Chilled and peaceful, a welcome relief from a daily episode of Eastenders.

Funniest thing I saw today: (even though I only watch Big Brother when I dry my hair) *coughs unconvincingly*



Best song I heard today:

Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain, Eva Cassidy. (How apt- aside from the rain part)

Wonders of the Weekend

Ah, a weekend off, lovely :).

After much fussing and faffing yesterday morning I decided to try and figure out my tax rebate self assessment thingy, without much joy. Stupid bloody websites make it so bloody confusing, you wouldn't have thought it was my own bloody money that I was trying to claim back with such difficulty in the first place would you!? Well, after some tears and a cup of tea, I retired to bed. Point number 1 as to why yesterday got off to the wrong start. I wasn't very focused you see, I normally need about 3 days worth of planning to sort my weekend out, and to top it all I wasn't feeling particularly well. I was due to go and see a friend and her two little headaches, but as I decided that being grumpy was the only way forward I said it was probably better if I postponed it to another day. As gardening always cheers me up I went in pursuit of my trowel and tackled the beds. The rear garden was fairly simple and didn't take long, I trimmed the edges and swept the path and was very pleased with my efforts. Stepping out the front door however, I felt a slightly different sense of 'un'satisfaction. I had not weeded once since the plants went in, and funnily enough weeds share the same love of new compost as new plants tend to. So, out came the trowel again, and after what seemed like 5 hours of back-breaking labour, wrestling with many slugs (yuck) and vine weed on the way, it looked, sort of better. After a comment from one of the local dog walkers, 'that's right, he's got the right idea, let the miss'es do the hard work ha ha' pointing towards me and Tom, I felt a little perturbed so got Tom to finish it off by mowing. Then came more uncertainty as to what I should do with the rest of this delightful time off, until I heard a thump, and the buns gave me an idea. In the bath they went, together (without water) until they would damn well kiss and make up and be friends. Half an hour passed and it looked like they had given up fighting. *great smiles of joy as the little buggers had refused to bond again since being separated*

So, this morning I awoke a little more cheery, as the weekend was clearly getting better, this supported by the film Wall-E. Amazingly cute and sad and sweet and all the same time. I also had the pleasure of at last going flying with my Father, Pilot Duckworth as my sister has named him. I won't pretend that I didn't feel like throwing up my Cheerios, or that my face hadn't lost all its colour, but I actually really enjoyed it. I am very proud of my hard-working Dad for regaining his Private Pilot's license, as I can now appreciate how blooming difficult it must be. We were only up in the air for an hour, but it was still plenty of time to appreciate the views over Oxford.

'Golf, Lima, Romeo, Echo, Echo Out.' Roger that.

Bugger Bugger Bugger Bugger Bollocks, Darling

Today has been a bad day. It rained, work took forever to end and I once again sold nothing. I've just checked my bank balance, and I'll suffice to say, I have never experienced being poor quite like I am experiencing it now. Only one month left of decent pay, and then I shall be busking on the streets.

My catch 22 situation comes in the form of being bored senseless all day so much so my words are merging into one another, instead of saying "the rabbit is about to leap or jump off the sofa", I come out with 'Lump', or 'Jeap'. My tiny brain is so confused by this that I carry on repeating each word until I can figure out how to put them back together, and then which word to choose to say. I have done this about 6 times today. I am so despondent while I'm at work that all I want to do is go home and paint, (a way of possibly earning a bit more money) but when I get home and I'm free to do so, I'm so bloody exhausted from doing my 'nothingness' daily role that I'm too tired to do it. So I can't win. And it sucks. I have also established that I can no longer write properly anymore...it's amazing isn't it? How your brain completely shuts down when it's not being used, and you literally have no words left in your head. So I apologise for my poorly written efforts of late, things just aren't ticking along like they used to.

I am hoping for something to look forward to this week, but really, no matter how hard I search, the best I can come up with is a trip to M&S and lunch with my Mother. Which, in fairness I am quite happy about, as she's been away this weekend with my Father, so there was no nice dinner on Sunday night to consume. I just have to pray that I don't moan about my sorry excuse for a life too much, as I fear I may send her over the edge. Bless her, she worries more than my Nanny, which trust me, is more than a crap estate agent with no job to do right now. So, there we go, I have found something positive, it wasn't that hard now was it Sophie? So cheer up you miserable old cow.

Daftest thing I did today:
Left my toothbrush and toothpaste at work

Best song I heard today:
Bluebell Polka, Jimmy Shand

Thing I missed most today:
My mid-week bottle of wine :(

Best photo I took last week:

Beach Boys and Wine

Oh how I've missed alcohol. After a pretty eventful week, didn't I warn you all? I am now finally able to relax listening to the sound of the Beach Boys blasting out Kokomo accompanied by a very large glass of Chenin Blanc, plus the one before that has already been consumed. I am a little drunk as all week I only had one G&T and one glass of Frascati...which might as well have been water it's so bloody tasteless and weak. Give me a bottle of Hardys' anytime. Anyway, as predicted, I arrived at the airport and after 5 troublesome transactions involving my debit card I started to suspect something. So, there I sat, in the South Terminal of Gatwick with a salmon bagel, longing for the Tom Ford sunglasses I'd just spied, on the phone to Natwest just making sure everything was alright. No, of course it wasn't alright, some complete bastard has nicked 200 quid off me in Germany, so "We'll just cancel your card now Miss Duckworth, and send you a replacement in the post in the next 2-3 days". Well, that's mighty handy seeing as I have no money and now I'm at the airport due to go on holiday for a week with no bloody access to any dough! Irritating issue number 1. I won't go into the issues whilst we were on holiday, because quite frankly I am too tired to re-tell the story of the mysterious disappearing/re-appearing A La Carte restaurant Pizzaria Luigi. But I will say, that I conquered two of my fears, firstly going in the Sea, and no I don't mean paddling up to my ankles, nor do I mean, literally 'going' in the Sea, I actually swam in it. And secondly, my fear of flying. This rather subsided whilst the other half was having a panic attack, it certainly put my juvenile and pathetic 'But what if we crash and die?' attitude to bed. Running through the Park Plus car park in the pouring monsoon rain was great fun however, despite having four hours sleep and going to work the next day only to find out I'd still not sold a house all month. Things are just going swimmingly.

Anyway, who cares? My parents have finally got planning permission, my sister seems relatively stuck into novel #2 now and I have kicked off my shoes, (and uncomfortable/impractical work clothes) to eat yummy proper M&S food and have guzzled down my remaining bottle of wine tonight. Good times!! I am going out on Friday night, and I actually have a tan to show off, yippee!

Broody Bones

I spent 6 hours of yesterday with about 15 adults and 8 children. Needless to say I enjoyed messing around with the kids more than I did having the same conversations with each adult. I am such a big kid, it's ridiculous really, I just haven't ever grown up. I mean where's the fun in that? I appear to have one of those faces too, you know, the one where every child under 6 smiles at you even though you're a complete stranger and thinks you look like a clown. Not sure if this is an attractive attribute or not yet. I think it's nice to be the only 'grown up' who gets passed the sobbing child and actually succeeds in stopping them from crying. They always look at me rather inquisitively, as though I should be one of them, but somehow have sprouted ever so slightly longer limbs, and much longer and more pull-able hair. Oh and jewellery, they can't get enough of silver bangles. I think if I ever have children I'll name one Magpie.

Luckily one of my closest friends has two adorable offspring, so if I need cheering up, I can just borrow one or both of them for the day. This is Livi and Jack.

Adorable eh? Well if you don't agree then bar humbug to you. For a Monday I am in a surprisingly good mood, I'll suffice to say it's because I went chore mad tonight. Rolled in from work despite having a £10,000 fall through with an uncharacteristically jovial mood, looked forward to cleaning out both buns (my substitute for kids-much like my sister), put the white-yet-also-multi-coloured washing on, cooked the dinner, re-wrote my CV in preparation for a rather important interview tomorrow night, and wrote my blog. Hurrah for a successful Monday! Let's hope tomorrow is even more successful. Big day tomorrow, I am actually hiding my quiveringly obvious nerves quite well through text.

Most irritating thing that happened today:

Discovered I had lost my camera. One of many, but of second-most importance. I can't exactly take my Hasselblad to Madeira with me can I?

Nicest thing I devoured today:

Close call, the Chenin Blanc I was given for passing a buyer to a surveyor (did I mention how easy my job is?) and the chocolate pudding, the proper one from M&S that I hoovered up in less time than it took to cook it.

Thing I am most looking forward to tonight:

Going to bed with newly washed bedsheets and pj's. Amazing feeling.

Best song tonight:

Artist's Block

I haven't managed to inspire myself recently so the posts have been fewer and far between, apologies to all those who read my blog, (why don't you have a life!?).

Here I sit, desk in the window, looking pensively out longing to be trimming the edges of my neatly manicured lawn. Oh the joy of working on a Saturday, how it thrills me, more so that because I am going on holiday next week (yay!) I am working next Saturday too. Terrific. Can't wait, can you tell from my genuine enthusiasm that I am delighted to be providing my time and effort once again next week? Well, I am not. But anyway, back to the holiday...yes I am poor, no I cannot afford it and yes I don't care. I am spending a week reading books, (probably one, the pace I read at) attempting to bronze my rather anaemic body, drinking copious amounts of cheap Spanish vino and sleeping. I am absolutely ecstatic, only trouble is I shall miss my rabbits dearly. If anyone is interested, this is where I'm staying. Shall update you on my return, no doubt there will be horror stories, there always are.

Back to title of this post, I have been trying, admittedly not very hard, to get back into painting. Thus far, success has not been a word I can relate to. I have gathered images from many supportive fellow colleagues, but have only managed to complete one painting in 2 months, which actually took me 7 hours. So you could say I've done bugger all since, and you would be correct. However, my not so little ears (thanks Dad and Grandad) pricked as a colleague of mine mentioned he would pay rather big bucks for a painting of the Hong Kong skyline. I have a number of images to generate such a painting, just no bloody time to do it. Perhaps after I've stretched my credit card to its limits I shall kick myself into getting it started.

Chores this weekend that will certainly not get done:
Ironing again, yes I will never learn that if you don't wash your clothes and just continue to buy more, more will eventually need washing at some point.
Cleaning the bathroom. The less said about this weekly duty the better.
Hoovering up the hay; my darling Poppy lives indoors...and so does her mess.

Daftest choice of film last night:
The Hills Have Eyes. More like 'You freak, you have eyes don't you so why are you watching this film?' Unnecessary, in a word. Switched off to watch Big Brother, even more of a waste of time.

Nicest thing I'm going to eat this weekend:
Mum and Dad's Roast/BBQ/dessert tonight.

Good film and even better still, music:

The Painted Veil.

Sunday Slumber

Here is my first meme. No clue as to what that is, but here goes:

1) What were you doing ten years' ago?

I was 13 going on 14...my ugly duckling stage, blonde hair growing out to brown, ridiculous set of braces with coloured bands (so 90's) and my Sporty Spice obsession. Yes, all I wore was Ellesse t shirts, Adidas popper trousers, Nike trainers (nothing less) with no make up. And I wondered why I was one of the last to get a boyfriend. Was very popular however at school at this age, as I had just grown out of the cute Sophie, and was ever increasing my talent of being the rebel Sophie, who got away with murder and held the record for the most after-school detentions. Great fun, I loved being respected. Felt sorry for my poor Mother though, who, teaches at the school still to this day, and who usually found out I hadn't done my homework and was in trouble before I did. Grr the staffroom, and grr the ever scary Madame Hearne. She was my French and German teacher, oh what luck, having her for both. She adored my straight A student sister, even though my accent was better, and hated me. I was described as a 'Walkman' by her,'constantly on in the background' so I did what every proud teenager does, quit French just to spite her and replaced it with IT. I was better at German anyway, and only having her twice her week was much less of a headache.

2) What 5 things are on your to-do list today?

Hoovering, although this I will probably make Tom do. I hate hoovering, so awkward and clumsy, and I'm constantly taking chunks out of the walls from wrenching the goddamn thing round the corners of my maze of a hallway.
Clean out Binky, although it's raining so this might be put off til later...
Try not to dread tomorrow so much. I hate working when I know I've got 6 days, so depressing, and my gosh does the time go slowly,yawn.
Change the sheets, this I am sure is meant to be done more frequently, but I really hate stretching my double sized sheet over my King-sized mattress.
Go to Mum and Dad's for Grandad's 96th Birthday dinner...hurrah something fun that involves no cooking.

3) What snacks do you enjoy?

I actually only snack at work, because it's so dull, and in that time I usually eat Tracker bars, and Nutri-grain Bars (trying to be healthy). At home, my current snack is Snickers Ice Cream. Amazing, in a word.

4) What would you do with a billion dollars?

Pay off my mortgage, buy the matching wallet to my Mulberry Mabel Handbag, buy a Z4 even though I'm not old enough to be insured on it, pay for my parent's build, probably buy my sister a flat in London with a garden terrace for the rabbits, and give the rest away.

5) List the places you have lived:

Walton-On-Thames
Pyrford
Woking
Surbiton
Weybridge

6) List the jobs you have held:

Very sick of writing this as have just done my CV but here you have it:
Waitress/Pimms server/Barmaid/Chalet attendant/Coffee shop worker for the lovely Wisley Gardens, Surrey.
Barmaid at Slug and Lettuce, best job.
Administrator at M-Tec, for a week.
Sales advisor in Bernards, fun job, good discounts on amazing designer clobber.
Current position, Sales Negotiator for Curchods Estate Agents (one of very few still standing).

7) List the people you'd like to know more about:

Them, and her.

Saddest Song in Disney

Daffodils, Dejection and Devotion

I wander'd lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Poetry is about the only thing that is getting through these desperate times. The ultimate escapism that comes from fiction and the 'other' world out there is providing me with some solace that things can get better. I do not think I have ever been in a more distant place as I am currently, never before have I been so unaware of myself and what I am searching for. I am confused and nervous, dejected and uncertain. My mind is buzzing with excitement one minute, down and out the next. Getting myself out of this rut is going to be a tough one.

I have however, recently enjoyed a tremendous film and yet another excuse to pardon myself from thinking about current issues...and it came to me in the form of Narnia, Prince Caspian. I so enjoyed this film that halfway through I actually turned to my other half and said,

'I am really enjoying this, I mean seriously, I feel quite elated I am so happy'

He looked at me a little oddly, but smiled, as if to appreciate my childlike fervent attitude. If you haven't seen it, go forth and do just that. NB, if you haven't seen the first one, do that first.

Other than the odd dinner out, proving more costly than my bank balance can take at the moment, I haven't been doing a great deal in my meagre spare time aside from the gardening. I have devotedly resurrected a rose in my garden, which was a very small, albeit still very significant rose that my mother had passed onto me as a house plant. Survive in the tropics that is my house, it didn't. It whimpered and flopped in about 5 days, drowning in all its water. This greatly upset me, seeing a gift given to me wither and die before my eyes, perhaps metaphoric of my career at present, short-lived and suffering. So, giving it one last chance I pulled off the dead leaves, that came away in my fingertips like a well cooked chicken sliding off the bone, dug a small hole in the front of the Imperata cylindrica (nice contrast depending on what colour the rose turns out to be), gave it some compost and planted it with a silent wish. Low and behold, with limited but sufficient watering 4 days later, new buds have appeared, and the little beauty is blossoming...not quite literally yet.

Maybe there is hope after all.

To Stay or To Go

To where though?

I am in the unfortunate position of accepting redundancy in less than 6 months or to cut and run now. Yes, the payout might be nice, but with all the staff they will have to 'out' the money might amount to less than my basic, which trust me, is not something to write Blog about. And also there's the uncharacteristic pride that I have at 23, I do not wish to be sacked or made redundant at such a young age, my father was never fired, always left with his dignity and I feel as though I should tread the same path.

My problem is, I am young, fairly ambitious, extremely curious and money hungry (excuse this sounding a little like a covering letter in attendance with my CV, and no I will not attach it to this post). I was always pretty good at most subjects, lazy as hell at school and can state with confidence that if I'd worked as hard as some i.e. my sister, I would have a achieved a grade higher in all my exams. But the truth is, I hated working, I had a nice life outside of school and all I wanted to do was play. Now I am grown up, I still love to play, but this time everything costs the earth. I now remain incredibly unfocused on a career in well, anything! I enjoy everything to an extent, and then once I've 'got it' I get bored and look towards something else. I am sure being a fairly logical person that I am capable of most things, so where is that box on totaljobs.com? I am struggling to search for positions because I do not know what the hell to do. This is pretty much eating me up inside. All I know is there isn't a confused.com for 23 year olds' who graduated in a degree without any major career prospects.

Hmmm, the above aside (finding this hard to shove to the back of my mind but still...) my garden is looking stupendous as per, and my rabbits are as usual spoilt and content. Managed to clean my entire house this morning AND do the food shopping...go me. Shame it's back to work tomorrow and a lovely 6 day week to look forward to...woohoo bring on the next 60 hours til freedom comes once again.

Best song in the car:
Don't Break My Heart, UB40



Crappest job to do when cleaning the bathroom:
Shower screen (even Cif is crap these days, I'm sure it's since the 'if' lost the J)

Time I am most likely to wake up at this morning due to unwanted birds:
5am.

Sneezes today:
75.

Glorious Gardens

I have recently discovered a fab blog http://martagon.blogspot.com/ and since this I feel it only natural, pardon the pun, to celebrate my beautiful garden of only one year....and to add in a few lovelies from the Eden Project.

Enjoy!.......Mine:

Eden's:

Getting Old

Today seeing my grandfather who is 95 and very frail struck me with one of those moments, that despite still looking 17, I am no longer 'young'. I have reached an age where I feel like any career decisions made in the next year or so are crucial, and that I really should start using anti-wrinkle cream on my decolletage, and that I should really take my make-up off before bed and stop wearing short skirts designed for 16 year olds.

The trouble is I still can get away with being young-ish, this is heightened by the fact that despite being over the legal drinking age by nearly 6 years, I still get asked for ID, even at the petrol station...the words 'I thought you were joy-riding' did not go down too well when I pulled up at the pump aged 19 and late for work as you can imagine. I am also struggling with the concept of getting my hair cut to a more suitable style, as my boyfriend often suggests as he looks at my ever so bland, dead straight locks from day to day. The issue with this is, I hate doing my hair, it is the biggest hassle of getting ready in the mornings and if Mr GHD hadn't arrived when he did, my hair would still resemble that of the contents of a pot noodle most days. Plus my face is still slightly pudgy (another trait that has not left me since my youth) so a shorter hair cut will only emphasise the roundness of my cheeks and the Wallace-ness of my chin. So what other options are there? I suppose when I've got 5 hours for my hair to dry naturally it looks OK but then I am still left with my roots that I swear grow quicker than the length of my hair suggests.

Other foibles of my body are my inheritance of my Dad's skinny legs and knobbly knees (gosh I am painting a stunning picture here for those who don't know me). So, when I look in the mirror I forget that I am nearing the age of 24 and that I need to start taking life seriously, and not carry on watching Disney with my also quite young minded friends and crying when I can't do something. So why have I not mentally grown up? Has the sense of responsibility not hit home that I have a house to keep up, a mortgage to pay and two very cheeky rabbits to look after? I suppose after dancing round the sitting room with my older and equally as immature sister to music on 'The Hits' indicates it hasn't.

Buddy

I love Buddy Holly. I can still recall the moment when I was at a Buddy concert and I got thrown the actor's plectrum...absolutely delighted I was, until some older girl next to me nicked it off me. I will never be able to count how many tears I cried on the coach back, I loved that pick, and that concert. Still 'raving on' to this day, Buddy will never leave my track list!

Today was a mixed day, I seem to have involuntarily adopted the role of receptionist as well as negotiator, and of course washer-upper of disgusting teaspoons left for days in the sink. Our beloved, and ever so slightly eccentric secretary is off on holiday this week, and as my manager (as competent as he is) is as organised as Gordon Brown, he has managed to plonk all of her work onto my desk. This I am not amused by, but seeing as I am bored out of my brain most days, the added work is actually of interest to me! Now I know I'm in trouble.

Bedtime now, for once this week, I would like to have an uninterrupted night's sleep, seeing as the birds get up at 2am where I live, so sleeping with the window is not an option. Wish me luck...goodnight all!

Fingers and Toes

.....crossed.

I am praying for a few things to happen soon.

Firstly, I would LOVE my sister who is a brilliant, yet often disturbing, writer to get published. I have not read the entirety of her book, but I have read and heard enough to know it's better than some of the crap I choose at the airport last minute. Therefore, it has to be published, so I am hoping with all my might that it does.

Secondly, I am hoping to either sell a dozen houses in the next couple of months or find a new job that will actually accept and pay me lots of money. Well, I don't want lots of money, just enough so I don't wince at spending 500 quid on a handbag...so I guess that's about 60k a year then! As egotistical as I am, even I don't think I am worth that much. 40k would be nice though...I'll keep dreaming.

Thirdly, and certainly not lastly, I am praying that my adorable parents get planning permission on their house. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Guildford Borough Council, don't be miserable bastards, say yes! you know you want to!

Aside from the above, my life has not been too bad at all lately, furniture for 2nd bedroom is arriving on Wednesday, hurrah! Very excited about this...I can finally fit all three of my computers/macs on one desk. And my boyfriend is being extra specially nice to me, took me out for a much needed dinner last night. Fajitas by the lake, yum, of course with wine, just a simple Chablis, yum. Couldn't manage pudding, although I did come home and succumb to a Snickers ice cream.

Most random thing I heard today:

That my colleague has a poltergeist living in his house who proceeded to punch him in the face in the middle of last night and then throw him across the room resulting in an immaculately cut foot. Freaky stuff.

Most important chore of the day (which has still not been done):

Ironing...still. I really really really hate it.

Best song tonight:

Rambling

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's orange and streaky?

Me.

I thought seeing as I only go out once a year, that I ought to make the effort to look as though I have been making the most of the Sun this week... so out came the 'never been used' fake tan. Nice move Soph. Last Christmas my Grandad kindly bought me some sachets of 'mitt applied' fake tan, despite the fact I asked for Gucci Envy perfume...(but then he is 95 so I'll give him some credit) and on Saturday evening I thought I would give them a go. Little did I know that the stuff dries in about 10 secs and you can't even see where its bloody been applied to, so I thought oh well sod it, I'll just go out and hopefully it will start to show later....THANK THE LORD it didn't. After smelling of biscuits all night, (and not the desired Marc Jacob's Daisy), I got slightly pissed off that I was as white as china plate when I left the party. Only to discover on Sunday morning that I looked like I was doing a promotion for Orange. A bad one, where I'd forgotten half the outfit. In mad desperation and realising it was 25 degrees outside- therefore there was no way I could cover up in jeans all day, I called my mother. 'Get scrubbing!' she said almost offering to come over with some exfoliating lotion bless her. (She had had a similar episode with her feet after overdosing on Johnson's Holiday Skin.) And so I did, 25 minutes I was in the shower, until I no longer looked orange, more red raw instead.

Anyway, it didn't do the trick as today I saw three people looking at my Mark Rothko effect arm as if to say, 'Jesus, you screwed up the fake tan a bit love didn't you?' Yes, well I hold my hands up, I did, and I shall now be pasty forever more.

Housing market is still shite, in fact getting worse by the hour, I keep praying that one of these days I'll sell 3 houses in a row like the old days, instead it's an impossible job just to keep the damn existing ones together. Hey ho, life is tough sometimes I suppose. Better dig that CV out...

As usual my gardening cheered me up no end this weekend and I have some fabulous new plants to show for my giddiness. I should be drinking myself into a stupor considering how poor I am but instead I am cooing over the rabbits and pruning my beloved specimens. Golf tomorrow, yay! Mid-life crisis in your mid-twenties...is that possible?

Much Ado About Nothing

Well, not to me it is...but then I'm probably the only person who reads this!

Starting the evening off a bit tipsy on my favourite Chilean White wine, has provoked some thoughts (as usual). Have had a busy weekend of travelling, firstly to Whitton, then to Hampton, then to Clapham, then to Croydon. Phew! what a lot of expensive petrol. Not forgetting work in between.

My journey started in Whitton, as I became a Godmother. Wow, feel quite special knowing I am in charge (so long as I barge the other two out the way) if anything happened to my lovely Helena, problem is I will have to steal Livi (my should-have-been goddaughter) too. But hopefully things will never come to that and I can go on giving Jack Paul Anthony Weedon as many kisses and cuddles as possible, at least until he's 13 and is too cool for that! Hampton brought about the much wanted/awaited incredible snacks that Helena's Mum provided. My gosh I stuffed myself this weekend. Sunday then lead onto Sarah's Birthday Lunner (Lunch/Dinner). 3pm she said to get there....3pm. So, I hoick myself onto a disgustingly skanky train up to Clapham, wander around like a loitering tourist taking photos of 'cool London people' only to find myself 10 minutes early at the table laid for 20 people. With one person sat there, looking desperately around her. Woohoo! I'm not late, nor am I the last, better still I am the 2nd therefore get prime position in the middle of the table - nothing worse than being the last to arrive as well as the most ignored at the end. After two glasses of Pinot Sarah the Birthday finally arrives, along with the rest of the crew. I made my muffled apologies for not bringing a present, and she laughed it off as though my presents were crap anyway, and we FINALLY ate the lunch/dinner/tea/midnight snack/whatever at 5.30pm... having no time to go back to hers for cake, I slumped off on the train home, pissed as a fart with only a bacon sandwich from 11 o clock, and half a spaghetti carbonara inside me.

So, Monday comes round and its the same, ever depressing morning where no offers come in, yet still plenty of buyers tease you with 'oh yeah I really liked it, but I'm seeing a few others then I may come back for a 2nd look'. Like hell you will. Why don't you just be honest and tell me the goddamn garden was too small, or the neighbour looked like someone off Shameless, or the pylon in the garden was concerning you since seeing the owner. Hmmm, this then resulted in a typical 'Sophie you have no money and need to sell at least 15 houses this month to get back on track, so why don't you cheer yourself and go to Ikea and blow whatever you can on your credit card' kind of moment. This in mind, I dragged my poor long suffering boyfriend down to Ikea and back, only realising too soon that my Mini One was not going to fit a desk and/or bookcase in it, so we came back with a door mat and a perspex box. Not forgetting of course the all important wine rack, which will no doubt sit on the side for a year until I bother to get the screws to fix it up with.

Here endth the first lesson, listening to Magic Carpet Ride finishing the dregs of a pricey wine that once again, you promised yourself you wouldn't buy, seeing as you had no money.

Song of the weekend:

Heartbroken, T2

Nicest thing I ate:

Wine, oh sorry, chocolate pudding from M&S tonight.

Daftest thing I did:

Spent 500 quid on my credit card on furniture.

Best song I'm listening to tonight

Happy Homage

To my sister :





Just cos I feel happy right now :)

Bulbous Builders

No, I do not wish to see your kebab-filled gut. Nor do I take pleasure in viewing your behind. Just dress properly and get on with the job.

Outside my office, is a parade of 'work'men, (although this is debatable) who since 9 o clock this morning (quite an impressive early start for them) have been digging up the car park generating the most noise possible. This is not a good start to a Friday with a hangover. After the digging concluded, one perverted looking chap came careering round the corner in the stereotypical white van with the driver side door wide open blaring out what one can only describe as 80's House music. He hopped out of the van, sidled over towards his colleague and lit a cigarette. Smoking near a gas work site, is not such a great idea you may think, but what really got me was the fact he left the bloody door open and turned the music up! Having to repeat myself to the world's most irritable vendor was not a moment I shall cherish, so thanks very much British Gas, for employing the world's most inconsiderable bastards to do your work for you.

Uninvited

2008 has so far proved to be a pretty rubbishy financial year, and I don't just mean for me. This fact mustn't be overlooked though so lightly however, because for the first time in my life, I feel as though I have been 'credit-crunched'. No, I am not exaggerating, I am completely and utterly 100% skint as a bint. I think there are sprinkler manufacturers on more money than me. The weather is, pardon my french...shit. And so is the Great British Economy. I vote we all just run off to Spain, seems nice enough there. Sun is out more at least.

I am feeling rather philosophical at present, I can't turn a page in the Daily Mail (delivered to work for free) most days without hearing that one in 10 of our children will be killed or seriously injured, or that some woman has jumped off a cliff leaving her child behind as she is 'depressed', or that Gordon Brown has yet again, cocked everything up. It seems that everyone in Britain knows that our attitudes towards burglars getting compensation for a broken leg from falling through roofs (in an attempt to rob some poor schmuck's house) are a load of bollocks and that quite frankly this country has gone completely mental, everyone it seems, apart from the bloody idiots that 'run' this country. I think a 5 year old with an IQ of 50 has more sense than this government. Well quite honestly, sort it out PM, and the rest of you, cos I can't afford my mortgage unless you get your banks to lower their interest rates and stop profiteering, and lower the goddamn fuel rates and food bills. I am poor! and this situation I am in now, is rather, well uninvited.

A Little Chip On My Shoulder

I have often wondered, whether guilt-tripping someone is a method used by a 'true' friend. I suppose the definition of the word 'true' in the context I am using, is fairly open ended...however I do pride myself on the fact I have some bloody good friends and recently I have been rather perturbed by someone who I feel cares very little for me really. I have the luxury of being able to see my friends on a sliding timescale basis, I probably could genuinely count at least 10 or so who mean the world to me, but knowing how busy life is, I know I can't see them all that often. So here is my dilemma, there is one, who has stuck out in my mind as being 'neglected' a tad lately, but then on the flip side, I myself in turn have also been rather discarded. After much chewing over in my mind, I have decided not to run to them, nor grovel, as I believe we have drifted apart quite naturally, and not in any deliberate move whatsoever. I don't want to appear cold or bitter, but I also don't take too kindly to certain messages being left in a particularly stroppy fashion. I am therefore going to stand my ground and not give in. I have time for the people who have time for me.


Anyway, this aside, my poor Binky is still recovering from his loss of manhood. He has had his second check up and needs a third. I feel sorry for him as he is the 'outdoors' bunny, and suffers the weather, as opposed to my spoilt brat of a rabbit, Poppy, who lives it up next to the radiator most days.


Most frustrating thing that happened today:

Missing out on a sale when I told the owner to and I quote, 'Take the offer and run you mad woman' 2 weeks ago, only to find out that when she finally gave in today, the buyer had bought elsewhere. Raaaa.

From Ear to Ear

Here it is: the reason I am delighted....

My fridge has returned to it's state of normality, let's hope it stays that way. And in case you hadn't realised it yet, I am completely mad and obsessive. I even have a mug with obsessive compulsive branded on it.

Painting is finally looking OK too. But you'll have to wait for an upload of that until I'm wholly satisfied with it!

Moody Mondays

I sit here, trying to get the thought out of my head; the thought that my new AEG fridge that replaced the old, might be broken too. I had never imagined that in my adulthood, that I would have this much of a problem with keeping things cold. I have had my new fridge for little under a month now, and this afternoon, after half filling it, it has gone up 1 degree. Some may think is not a problem, but for me, this is the epitome of a bad day. I am actually struggling beyond belief in getting over this, as my newest OCD in checking the temperature on the fridge every morning, every evening, at least 3 times whilst eating dinner and once again at night, (after checking the back door four times) has slowly driven me ever so slightly insane. I only pray that when I go to bed tonight, that it has gone down again, or I fear I may not sleep. Please, God, please.


Topping my sulky mood today, has been the fact that I am not sure I can paint anymore. I am halfway through a black and white portrait of Olivia, and I am not overly impressed with it so far. In fact, I think it's pretty rubbish. This is also marked by how I'm feeling on this wet, windy waste of a day. Rubbish. Work tomorrow too, let's hope I sell a house before Tom kills himself due to my stroppyness. Suppose I should revert back to my last post and switch off Camera Obscura and opt for some Reggae instead.

One thing I have laughed at today :

Sing! Sing! Sing!

So, I have decided, singing is the best medicine. If you are ever down, put a stupid song that you know all the words to (bizarrely for me this category falls into about 5000 songs) and sing your damn heart out. I actually can't believe how much I enjoy singing at the top of my meagre voice.

Songs I suggest for when you are angry and don't want to laugh but you secretly wish someone would play you so do eventually laugh:

Compliment On Your Kiss, Taxi Gang
Dance Your Cares Away, Miss Teeq
Malaguena Salerosa, Chingon (the best!)
Always Have, Ace of Base
Mmmbop, Hanson
Juke Box Blues, Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line)
Rave On, Buddy Holly
Under Mi Sensi, Alozade Hollowpoint and Mr. Ve (in fact most Reggae will get you laughing pretty quick)

So, if you're feeling like shit for whatever reason, get some of these on your Itunes. I promise, they are good :)

I shall leave you with another favourite.

Bunnies and Birdies

Well, birdie in the singular, yes I am going on and on about this, due to my victory on the golf course today, a tiny par 3 course on which I acheived two pars and a birdie...woohoo! Most proud. Also managed to hit a bunny by the bunker with my next shot...ah hem.

Garden is looking fab, my arms however are not so fab due to my naughty rabbit Poppy scratching me to death as I kindly put her outside on the lawn! Out in the rain she goes tomorrow then!...making it short and sweet this time, off to cook spaghetti and Eurovision it up. Can't wait, I'm sure Andy Abraham will win it for us. Yes, I am sure.

All things green and beautiful...

The sun is shining wahaay! going to the garden centre with my mother today, she's going on holiday tomorrow so I'm making the most of her and her advice about plants. Hope the rain holds off until tomorrow as I am also picking up my sticks again and playing golf this afternoon...well attempting to play. It has been a long time.

Things I must also do today that will end up being left until Monday:

Washing, again.
Ironing the last two loads of washing.
Cleaning...ahh that word that comes around far too often, surprising how much dust two people can generate in the space of a week.
Painting...this is something I should do today! Have started a new painting of Olivia, 6, and well I haven't exactly got very far.

We shall see how the day progresses.

Object of Desire

Just quickly, for those who are interested...well, you probably aren't but you should look anyway, I recently discovered the wonderous instrument that is the Sousaphone.

Click away and listen to this:

New Venture

So, here it is, after much deliberation I have begun my own blog. I am very much an amateur when it comes to unknown prospects, none moreso than this.

Being a Friday afternoon and knowing I do not have to work tomorrow has enlightened my mood beyond belief. It is the most depressing thing I have decided, having to work weekends, and my aim for my next job is never having to succumb to this again. My reasoning for detesting working is, purely and simply, because I like gardening. As sad as it sounds, my newest hobby (bar this one) is nuturing my plants and looking after my rabbit-munched lawn. If you aren't into it already, then buy yourself some herbs, stick them in a window pot and go wild. Trust me, it's fun.

Chinese tonight, my first since being in Hong Kong nearly three weeks ago!- cannot wait. mmm, I can smell the noodles already from my not-so-beloved desk at work.