Standing Still

A long long time ago, there was a girl, with Blonde, yet fading to brown hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile. She lived in a house with two rabbits, one who was small and friendly, the other who was rather large and grumpy. She liked to watch DVDs, mostly of the Children's variety, perhaps on the attempt of taking her back to when she was at her happiest, she liked to cook, clean, take care of her house and enjoyed writing her Blog.

Nowadays, she spends most of her time, standing still. Lost in a world of chaos and anger, forgetting all her chores and spending most of her days wishing for the end to arrive so she can carry on doing nothing at home.

I have hit a 'Winter-Blues' low. I don't particularly have anything to be sad about, apart from the everyday things we hear on the news, but I am feeling ill at present and this sense of self-pity has hit an all time high of late. I am tired, almost constantly, and everything is irritating me, whether it be someone putting a bowl the wrong way up in the dishwasher or someone driving inanely in front of me so I miss the lights. I am finding myself getting more and more bitter towards people who do wrong, even for the smallest thing, that most would brush off like crumbs from a biscuit they'd just eaten over their desk. For me, the fact that I had biscuit crumbs stuck in my keyboard would drive me round the bend. I would imagine picking at it and shaking it until they'd all come out, then accidentally knocking over my tea with my elbow whilst doing so...all this, combined with not being able to park outside the office because I'd missed those lights from the morning? Would make me burst into tears. Yes, that's how easily I cry. You think I'm depressed? Well, you'd be wrong, (for once-I'm sure most of your assumptions are correct about me) in actual fact, i am just stuck. Stuck in the biggest rut that has taken up most of my 20s. You see, when you are at school, you have a schedule, a mini-life plan, so that everyday you know what's happening and who you're going to see and generally the things you look forward to don't differ. This mostly follows on to University, aside from the fact you actually chose this subject and weren't forced to study it...despite regretting choosing it so many times over. You have a purpose, a general role in life. And now what? You have this great big empty hole in your life allowing you to what the hell you want, 'the world's your oyster' Well, woophie doo. Thanks a lot, I would rather the world be a car park, at least then I would know which way to turn.

So there you have it, a long wait of almost 3 weeks, and that's all you're gonna get. Sorry people, but I'm just not that motivated at present. Any ideas on how to feel fulfilled? Suggestions welcome.

Kind Regards,

Miserable Cow.

The End.