My Humble Apologies

Please accept the above...for my lack of posts and lack of sticking to my new years resolutions.

What inspires me to blog? Hmm, that is actually a very difficult question to answer. I would say that when I get the odd 'nudge' from people saying, 'Oi, keep it up you lazy so 'n so' that inclines me to log in and get typing, but that would be telling a porky. And no, it is not the guilt I feel when I see other people writing and updating theirs twice a week (twice a week? don't you have a life!?) either. It is in actual fact, when I find something positive to write about. Oh no, I can hear you cry, she's off on another one of her miserable, self-deprecating, depressing bouts of garbage again, about how sad she's been and how there's no meaning to her life...blah blah blah, but I promise you right here and now, that I'm not suggesting this at all. I am merely trying to spare you the jumbled blur of speech that comes pouring out of my mouth/fingertips that generally ends up in a post about absolutely nothing. So there you have it, I am simply seeking for something interesting and stimulating to write about. Here end'th the 1st lesson.

Here begins the 2nd. Unfortunately I won't let you off that lightly, as some rather grating events have occured that, like a disease, have beguiled me of my strength of late. And oh yes, you've guessed it, it was about money. I will try not to bore you with all the details, for those who know me, you've probably heard all accounts and on more than one occasion anyway, but I will say this, don't think just because Rabbits are smaller and not exactly like dogs or cats (although I am finding this more and more debatable given the way mine act) that they don't cost much at the vet, and aren't worth insuring. Having to pick up a bill for a 2 night and 2 day hospital stay was not on the agenda last week, especially as my car's brake discs weren't budgeted to be replaced the same day either. Bang goes all my savings for Paris.

Hurrah, I managed to turn a negative-sounding post into something good at the end! Cue, Paris talk. So, after six months, (six MONTHS!) of being at home in rainy/cold/icy/depressing (oops sorry) Britain, I am at last off overseas again. OK, so it's only one, mini sea, La Manche, but still, it involves using the passport and yet doesn't involve flying...Woohoo! Bonus. *recollects fear of flying and starts to sweat*. So, the lack of money does bother me a tad, but, if it means less shopping for clothes that look good in Paris yet slightly too radical in London, then I suppose my rabbit did me a favour. I am beginning the Parisian Itinerary today and I shall let you know my progress and, of course, the photos will come in their hundreds upon my return.

I suppose I could use this link to promote my 'work in progress' website. Highly original, I know, but as the last Duckworth in the family, why not celebrate it? After all, I am not sure of my intentions of this website, so naming it in any other sense is quite a challenge, but it is cool to finally have one. Please feel free to poke fun, laugh at, suggest any improvements (but don't blame me if I bite your head off as criticism is not something I am very good at accepting), and of course, buy as many prints as your heart desires. Hey, I can dream can't I?

Au revoir for now, I shall be back with berets on upon my return.

25 things about me...

You know the rules:

1) I should be working right now
2) I am scared of the sea and larger than average objects/mammals
3) I love wine
4) I hate shots
5) Staying in at home is my preferred pastime
6) I hate travelling by train
7) Travelling for 3-4 months of the year is something I wish I could do
8) I have a tattoo
9) I am a tomboy at heart
10) I want to earn 50k by the time I'm 30
11) I want to have twins, non-identical, girl and boy
12) I am petrified of death and all things associated with losing someone
13) I wish I was better at photography
14) I think I can draw quite well
15) I should have done better in my GCSEs and A Levels
16) Botany is one of my passions
17) I like arguing/debating
18) I look young but feel old
19) I have developed a recent love for shoes and expensive handbags
20) I burn everytime I sunbathe
21) I eat a lot
22) I have poor circulation
23) Creme Eggs are my favourite snack
24) I love the smell of coffee but cannot bear the taste
25) I am very good at saving, and spending money

How I'm feeling :)

So long Viruses...Hello Holidays

So, where to begin with SUCH a huge gap in between posts? Yep, you've guessed it, my new year's resolution (well one of them) is to keep up blogging. I have let many opportunities pass whereby I could have brightened up your days with my monotonous accounts of daily life, making yours seem all the better...but alas, the main reason for this absence? Idleness. I just couldn't be bothered. So there, I've admitted it, I simply had better things to do. Well, it was Christmas after all, and if you're anything like me (God forbid there's more than one of me, for your sake) you'll have spent the last 6 weeks shopping, spending, packing, wrapping, decorating, erecting (trees and the like, that is), writing, stamping, posting and cooking. So, where do you think the usual things that take up my time went? Like, cleaning, cooking, preparing dishes that don't involve smoked salmon, washing, ironing, socialising, blogging, cleaning, and...oh you see, there it was, blogging. Well, needless to say, it got mixed up with all the other crap that is now sitting in a huge pile in need of attendance. So, I'm working my way through....forgive me.

With reference to the title, the virus part is one to reflect upon. Hmmm, 'virus', not a very nice word in itself, therefore truly befitting given the nature of how it affected my December. 1st off, 3rd of December, in true 'Winter has struck' style, I sneezed and it wasn't hay fever related. So there it was, my first cold since April. Not bad, and hardly something to complain about, most would say, but I do suffer from hay fever for 5 out of 12 months of the year, so a break is necessary just to allow my poor nose to recover. It didn't last long though, this cold, so I was relatively happy, I still took a Benelyn-Day though, that advert is certainly catching. Everything was relatively on track, my presents were mostly bought and wrapped, my tree which was too tall for the room at a giant 7ft was trimmed down to size thanks to my trusty metal hacksaw, and I'd just been given a pay rise at work. Then...came the bag of mixed nuts.

I had known for the past 10 years that most fruits were a no-go. I can eat satsumas, grapes, grapefruits and kiwis (just about) but give me an apple or a peach and you're looking at the next Leslie Ash. The fun starts off with a slight itch inside my mouth, then balloons into giant swollen lumps of flesh, eating away until I can't take anymore and need to eat some chocolate to calm it down (what a shame). Well, nuts have always been fine. I've happily munched on peanuts, pistachios, walnuts etc for most of my life, so when I spied a bag of mixed nuts in Tesco one lunchtime I thought, why not, for a pre-Christmas diet it's fairly healthy. I think you can tell where this story is going...so lets just say that I won't be eating Brazil Nuts 'neat' again as I would quite like my throat to remain its normal size. Cue, cold and sore throat number 2. This one was a bugger to shake off though, 3 weeks!!! I was not a happy Christmas Elf.

And as for the plural usage of the word, my beloved PC was eaten alive by an AntiVirus 2009 download which turns out to give you viruses instead of removing them. Not terrific, I must say, so read all about it here, and for goodness sake, back up your hard drive more often than I did.

Onto more pleasant things, I am hoping to leave the rottenness of December behind with the rest of last year, as to be frank, as years go, it wasn't the best I've had. All the more to look forward to for this year I suppose! I have become, in a word, obsessed with going on holiday. I am off to Paris in February, which is very exciting, despite going about 10 times as a child, I haven't been as an 'adult' yet, nor with a boyfriend. So let this Valentines' be a romantic one. I shall also be re-living a portion of my youth in June, as the 5 near-original Ibiza girls are off on holiday once again, to Greece hopefully, Corfu or Halkidiki. And the end of my travels for 2009? Well, so far, my man and I have narrowed it down (I use the term loosely) to either the Maldives, Sri Lanka, Jamaica, Mexico or Cuba. Knowing us, we'll probably end up in bloody Spain again, but this is hopefully to be avoided at all costs.

I shall leave you now, (as you've most likely switched off, nodded off or moved on anyway) with some pictures taken on a delightful yet excruciatingly cold walk along the Thames. Enjoy :)

Standing Still

A long long time ago, there was a girl, with Blonde, yet fading to brown hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile. She lived in a house with two rabbits, one who was small and friendly, the other who was rather large and grumpy. She liked to watch DVDs, mostly of the Children's variety, perhaps on the attempt of taking her back to when she was at her happiest, she liked to cook, clean, take care of her house and enjoyed writing her Blog.

Nowadays, she spends most of her time, standing still. Lost in a world of chaos and anger, forgetting all her chores and spending most of her days wishing for the end to arrive so she can carry on doing nothing at home.

I have hit a 'Winter-Blues' low. I don't particularly have anything to be sad about, apart from the everyday things we hear on the news, but I am feeling ill at present and this sense of self-pity has hit an all time high of late. I am tired, almost constantly, and everything is irritating me, whether it be someone putting a bowl the wrong way up in the dishwasher or someone driving inanely in front of me so I miss the lights. I am finding myself getting more and more bitter towards people who do wrong, even for the smallest thing, that most would brush off like crumbs from a biscuit they'd just eaten over their desk. For me, the fact that I had biscuit crumbs stuck in my keyboard would drive me round the bend. I would imagine picking at it and shaking it until they'd all come out, then accidentally knocking over my tea with my elbow whilst doing so...all this, combined with not being able to park outside the office because I'd missed those lights from the morning? Would make me burst into tears. Yes, that's how easily I cry. You think I'm depressed? Well, you'd be wrong, (for once-I'm sure most of your assumptions are correct about me) in actual fact, i am just stuck. Stuck in the biggest rut that has taken up most of my 20s. You see, when you are at school, you have a schedule, a mini-life plan, so that everyday you know what's happening and who you're going to see and generally the things you look forward to don't differ. This mostly follows on to University, aside from the fact you actually chose this subject and weren't forced to study it...despite regretting choosing it so many times over. You have a purpose, a general role in life. And now what? You have this great big empty hole in your life allowing you to what the hell you want, 'the world's your oyster' Well, woophie doo. Thanks a lot, I would rather the world be a car park, at least then I would know which way to turn.

So there you have it, a long wait of almost 3 weeks, and that's all you're gonna get. Sorry people, but I'm just not that motivated at present. Any ideas on how to feel fulfilled? Suggestions welcome.

Kind Regards,

Miserable Cow.

The End.

Angel

I am sad to say, that this little boy has affected my life so much even though I never knew him, that the emotion I have felt, has barely even entered his mother's heart. I have been devastated by the news of Baby P, whom some are calling Peter, that I felt it was necessary to pay a tribute to such a young and brave little soul.


May you Rest in Peace

http://baby-p.2006-2007.gonetoosoon.org/memorial/

* Please pay your own tribute via the link above *

Remember

For all of those who died for us, today we mark the 90th Anniversary of Armistice Day