Standing Still

A long long time ago, there was a girl, with Blonde, yet fading to brown hair, blue eyes and a crooked smile. She lived in a house with two rabbits, one who was small and friendly, the other who was rather large and grumpy. She liked to watch DVDs, mostly of the Children's variety, perhaps on the attempt of taking her back to when she was at her happiest, she liked to cook, clean, take care of her house and enjoyed writing her Blog.

Nowadays, she spends most of her time, standing still. Lost in a world of chaos and anger, forgetting all her chores and spending most of her days wishing for the end to arrive so she can carry on doing nothing at home.

I have hit a 'Winter-Blues' low. I don't particularly have anything to be sad about, apart from the everyday things we hear on the news, but I am feeling ill at present and this sense of self-pity has hit an all time high of late. I am tired, almost constantly, and everything is irritating me, whether it be someone putting a bowl the wrong way up in the dishwasher or someone driving inanely in front of me so I miss the lights. I am finding myself getting more and more bitter towards people who do wrong, even for the smallest thing, that most would brush off like crumbs from a biscuit they'd just eaten over their desk. For me, the fact that I had biscuit crumbs stuck in my keyboard would drive me round the bend. I would imagine picking at it and shaking it until they'd all come out, then accidentally knocking over my tea with my elbow whilst doing so...all this, combined with not being able to park outside the office because I'd missed those lights from the morning? Would make me burst into tears. Yes, that's how easily I cry. You think I'm depressed? Well, you'd be wrong, (for once-I'm sure most of your assumptions are correct about me) in actual fact, i am just stuck. Stuck in the biggest rut that has taken up most of my 20s. You see, when you are at school, you have a schedule, a mini-life plan, so that everyday you know what's happening and who you're going to see and generally the things you look forward to don't differ. This mostly follows on to University, aside from the fact you actually chose this subject and weren't forced to study it...despite regretting choosing it so many times over. You have a purpose, a general role in life. And now what? You have this great big empty hole in your life allowing you to what the hell you want, 'the world's your oyster' Well, woophie doo. Thanks a lot, I would rather the world be a car park, at least then I would know which way to turn.

So there you have it, a long wait of almost 3 weeks, and that's all you're gonna get. Sorry people, but I'm just not that motivated at present. Any ideas on how to feel fulfilled? Suggestions welcome.

Kind Regards,

Miserable Cow.

The End.

Angel

I am sad to say, that this little boy has affected my life so much even though I never knew him, that the emotion I have felt, has barely even entered his mother's heart. I have been devastated by the news of Baby P, whom some are calling Peter, that I felt it was necessary to pay a tribute to such a young and brave little soul.


May you Rest in Peace

http://baby-p.2006-2007.gonetoosoon.org/memorial/

* Please pay your own tribute via the link above *

Remember

For all of those who died for us, today we mark the 90th Anniversary of Armistice Day

Just Stuff

I am sitting here, with my Campo Viejo Rioja Crianza, listening to Aaliyah, Try Again, recently sprung back into iTunes action due to the simple words in His blog. I apologise for the gaps of late, it has been a considerably tough few months to be honest. I have changed my career-mind about 4 times, and hopefully have finally picked the one that will last a few years. I am now in IT. Wow, Information Technology, a whole category of new beginnings and things I don't understand. Love a good challenge! Well, I am a software tester/technical writer. Technical being the positive word in that sentence, as clearly I am not too great at the normal kind.

Besides the chaotic chapter that has been the subject of my career, I don't have an awful lot to report. How boring?...you must think, well in truth you'd be right. However, I did go out on Saturday which is something I haven't done in goodness knows how long...and I obviously forgot the effects of a hangover, as despite not being able to sleep in past 8 o clock after a mere 5 hours drunken slumber, one arm and leg on the bed, the other pair twisted underneath half my clothing off the bed, I got up and moved to the sofa, only to spend the next 3 hours watching the Hollyoaks Omnibus, unable to move for fear of throwing up. Being sick has been a rarity in my life, luckily, some might think, but really I would rather just up and get it over with. Rather than laying about all day in some miserable stupor, eating more toast than I deem to be healthy and wanting a waiter more than ever before. The only thing I managed all day on Sunday was weeding the front garden, (so overdue I forgot which plants I even had and started pulling them out instead of the weeds at one point) that and cleaning out the kids/buns.

Friday night however, I rediscovered two old friends. Her and Her. I felt rather privileged, having both in my living room at the same time, still as scared as ever of the latter female and all her antics. Thank god for the walk-through that's what I say. Great fun! I felt a bit mean ignoring the 'trick or treaters' though for the fear that overcame us both so much so we were too scared to open the door. Hey ho, sweets will only make you fat. Except if you are my father and Charlotte Mantle (the skinniest girl with the biggest appetite that I know).

Best song I heard today: (bar the one I am listening to now-on repeat I might add..No I can't type that fast!)

Wada Na Tod, Lata Mangeshkar

Best thing that happened today:

Bumping into a much-missed friend in Ikea whilst shopping for the new office plants.

Daftest thing I did today:

Booked another night out mid-week along with the four others next week...umm...

Favourite photo this week:

Baby Dracula...aka, my Godson, Jack Weedon

Meme Time!

Hurrah, I love finding reasons to blog. My biggest worry? No not that my responses will near enough run parallel to my sisters'...that's my second biggest worry, my biggest is the fact I do not know 7 other bloggers! Need to kick start some more friends into this...

Display the award. Link back to the person who gave you this award. Nominate at least 7 other blogs. Put links to those blogs on your blog. Leave a message on the blogs of the people you've nominated. You can only answer in one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? Desk

2. Where is your significant other? Bedroom

3. Your hair colour? Blonde

4. Your mother? Generous

5. Your father? Idol

6. Your favourite thing? Music

7. Your dream last night? Painful

8. Your dream/goal? Fulfillment

9. The room you're in? Study

10. Your hobby? Painting

11. Your fear? Failure

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Married

13. Where were you last night? Walton

14. What you're not? Photogenic

15. One of your wish-list items? Z4

16. Where you grew up? Walton

17. The last thing you did? Sing

18. What are you wearing? Slobbies

19. Your TV? Off

20. Your pet? Adorable

21. Your computer? Saviour

22. Your mood? Ambivalent

23. Missing someone? Yes

24. Your car? Dirty

25. Something you're not wearing? Jewellery

26. Favourite store? Reiss

27. Your summer?Distant

28. Love someone? Yes

29. Your favorite colour? Carmine

30. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? Today

Hmmm, I am going to do my best, with Her, Her, them and ??? I'll come back to you :)

I love this...