Broody Bones

I spent 6 hours of yesterday with about 15 adults and 8 children. Needless to say I enjoyed messing around with the kids more than I did having the same conversations with each adult. I am such a big kid, it's ridiculous really, I just haven't ever grown up. I mean where's the fun in that? I appear to have one of those faces too, you know, the one where every child under 6 smiles at you even though you're a complete stranger and thinks you look like a clown. Not sure if this is an attractive attribute or not yet. I think it's nice to be the only 'grown up' who gets passed the sobbing child and actually succeeds in stopping them from crying. They always look at me rather inquisitively, as though I should be one of them, but somehow have sprouted ever so slightly longer limbs, and much longer and more pull-able hair. Oh and jewellery, they can't get enough of silver bangles. I think if I ever have children I'll name one Magpie.

Luckily one of my closest friends has two adorable offspring, so if I need cheering up, I can just borrow one or both of them for the day. This is Livi and Jack.

Adorable eh? Well if you don't agree then bar humbug to you. For a Monday I am in a surprisingly good mood, I'll suffice to say it's because I went chore mad tonight. Rolled in from work despite having a £10,000 fall through with an uncharacteristically jovial mood, looked forward to cleaning out both buns (my substitute for kids-much like my sister), put the white-yet-also-multi-coloured washing on, cooked the dinner, re-wrote my CV in preparation for a rather important interview tomorrow night, and wrote my blog. Hurrah for a successful Monday! Let's hope tomorrow is even more successful. Big day tomorrow, I am actually hiding my quiveringly obvious nerves quite well through text.

Most irritating thing that happened today:

Discovered I had lost my camera. One of many, but of second-most importance. I can't exactly take my Hasselblad to Madeira with me can I?

Nicest thing I devoured today:

Close call, the Chenin Blanc I was given for passing a buyer to a surveyor (did I mention how easy my job is?) and the chocolate pudding, the proper one from M&S that I hoovered up in less time than it took to cook it.

Thing I am most looking forward to tonight:

Going to bed with newly washed bedsheets and pj's. Amazing feeling.

Best song tonight:

Artist's Block

I haven't managed to inspire myself recently so the posts have been fewer and far between, apologies to all those who read my blog, (why don't you have a life!?).

Here I sit, desk in the window, looking pensively out longing to be trimming the edges of my neatly manicured lawn. Oh the joy of working on a Saturday, how it thrills me, more so that because I am going on holiday next week (yay!) I am working next Saturday too. Terrific. Can't wait, can you tell from my genuine enthusiasm that I am delighted to be providing my time and effort once again next week? Well, I am not. But anyway, back to the holiday...yes I am poor, no I cannot afford it and yes I don't care. I am spending a week reading books, (probably one, the pace I read at) attempting to bronze my rather anaemic body, drinking copious amounts of cheap Spanish vino and sleeping. I am absolutely ecstatic, only trouble is I shall miss my rabbits dearly. If anyone is interested, this is where I'm staying. Shall update you on my return, no doubt there will be horror stories, there always are.

Back to title of this post, I have been trying, admittedly not very hard, to get back into painting. Thus far, success has not been a word I can relate to. I have gathered images from many supportive fellow colleagues, but have only managed to complete one painting in 2 months, which actually took me 7 hours. So you could say I've done bugger all since, and you would be correct. However, my not so little ears (thanks Dad and Grandad) pricked as a colleague of mine mentioned he would pay rather big bucks for a painting of the Hong Kong skyline. I have a number of images to generate such a painting, just no bloody time to do it. Perhaps after I've stretched my credit card to its limits I shall kick myself into getting it started.

Chores this weekend that will certainly not get done:
Ironing again, yes I will never learn that if you don't wash your clothes and just continue to buy more, more will eventually need washing at some point.
Cleaning the bathroom. The less said about this weekly duty the better.
Hoovering up the hay; my darling Poppy lives indoors...and so does her mess.

Daftest choice of film last night:
The Hills Have Eyes. More like 'You freak, you have eyes don't you so why are you watching this film?' Unnecessary, in a word. Switched off to watch Big Brother, even more of a waste of time.

Nicest thing I'm going to eat this weekend:
Mum and Dad's Roast/BBQ/dessert tonight.

Good film and even better still, music:

The Painted Veil.

Sunday Slumber

Here is my first meme. No clue as to what that is, but here goes:

1) What were you doing ten years' ago?

I was 13 going on 14...my ugly duckling stage, blonde hair growing out to brown, ridiculous set of braces with coloured bands (so 90's) and my Sporty Spice obsession. Yes, all I wore was Ellesse t shirts, Adidas popper trousers, Nike trainers (nothing less) with no make up. And I wondered why I was one of the last to get a boyfriend. Was very popular however at school at this age, as I had just grown out of the cute Sophie, and was ever increasing my talent of being the rebel Sophie, who got away with murder and held the record for the most after-school detentions. Great fun, I loved being respected. Felt sorry for my poor Mother though, who, teaches at the school still to this day, and who usually found out I hadn't done my homework and was in trouble before I did. Grr the staffroom, and grr the ever scary Madame Hearne. She was my French and German teacher, oh what luck, having her for both. She adored my straight A student sister, even though my accent was better, and hated me. I was described as a 'Walkman' by her,'constantly on in the background' so I did what every proud teenager does, quit French just to spite her and replaced it with IT. I was better at German anyway, and only having her twice her week was much less of a headache.

2) What 5 things are on your to-do list today?

Hoovering, although this I will probably make Tom do. I hate hoovering, so awkward and clumsy, and I'm constantly taking chunks out of the walls from wrenching the goddamn thing round the corners of my maze of a hallway.
Clean out Binky, although it's raining so this might be put off til later...
Try not to dread tomorrow so much. I hate working when I know I've got 6 days, so depressing, and my gosh does the time go slowly,yawn.
Change the sheets, this I am sure is meant to be done more frequently, but I really hate stretching my double sized sheet over my King-sized mattress.
Go to Mum and Dad's for Grandad's 96th Birthday dinner...hurrah something fun that involves no cooking.

3) What snacks do you enjoy?

I actually only snack at work, because it's so dull, and in that time I usually eat Tracker bars, and Nutri-grain Bars (trying to be healthy). At home, my current snack is Snickers Ice Cream. Amazing, in a word.

4) What would you do with a billion dollars?

Pay off my mortgage, buy the matching wallet to my Mulberry Mabel Handbag, buy a Z4 even though I'm not old enough to be insured on it, pay for my parent's build, probably buy my sister a flat in London with a garden terrace for the rabbits, and give the rest away.

5) List the places you have lived:

Walton-On-Thames
Pyrford
Woking
Surbiton
Weybridge

6) List the jobs you have held:

Very sick of writing this as have just done my CV but here you have it:
Waitress/Pimms server/Barmaid/Chalet attendant/Coffee shop worker for the lovely Wisley Gardens, Surrey.
Barmaid at Slug and Lettuce, best job.
Administrator at M-Tec, for a week.
Sales advisor in Bernards, fun job, good discounts on amazing designer clobber.
Current position, Sales Negotiator for Curchods Estate Agents (one of very few still standing).

7) List the people you'd like to know more about:

Them, and her.

Saddest Song in Disney

Daffodils, Dejection and Devotion

I wander'd lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

Poetry is about the only thing that is getting through these desperate times. The ultimate escapism that comes from fiction and the 'other' world out there is providing me with some solace that things can get better. I do not think I have ever been in a more distant place as I am currently, never before have I been so unaware of myself and what I am searching for. I am confused and nervous, dejected and uncertain. My mind is buzzing with excitement one minute, down and out the next. Getting myself out of this rut is going to be a tough one.

I have however, recently enjoyed a tremendous film and yet another excuse to pardon myself from thinking about current issues...and it came to me in the form of Narnia, Prince Caspian. I so enjoyed this film that halfway through I actually turned to my other half and said,

'I am really enjoying this, I mean seriously, I feel quite elated I am so happy'

He looked at me a little oddly, but smiled, as if to appreciate my childlike fervent attitude. If you haven't seen it, go forth and do just that. NB, if you haven't seen the first one, do that first.

Other than the odd dinner out, proving more costly than my bank balance can take at the moment, I haven't been doing a great deal in my meagre spare time aside from the gardening. I have devotedly resurrected a rose in my garden, which was a very small, albeit still very significant rose that my mother had passed onto me as a house plant. Survive in the tropics that is my house, it didn't. It whimpered and flopped in about 5 days, drowning in all its water. This greatly upset me, seeing a gift given to me wither and die before my eyes, perhaps metaphoric of my career at present, short-lived and suffering. So, giving it one last chance I pulled off the dead leaves, that came away in my fingertips like a well cooked chicken sliding off the bone, dug a small hole in the front of the Imperata cylindrica (nice contrast depending on what colour the rose turns out to be), gave it some compost and planted it with a silent wish. Low and behold, with limited but sufficient watering 4 days later, new buds have appeared, and the little beauty is blossoming...not quite literally yet.

Maybe there is hope after all.

To Stay or To Go

To where though?

I am in the unfortunate position of accepting redundancy in less than 6 months or to cut and run now. Yes, the payout might be nice, but with all the staff they will have to 'out' the money might amount to less than my basic, which trust me, is not something to write Blog about. And also there's the uncharacteristic pride that I have at 23, I do not wish to be sacked or made redundant at such a young age, my father was never fired, always left with his dignity and I feel as though I should tread the same path.

My problem is, I am young, fairly ambitious, extremely curious and money hungry (excuse this sounding a little like a covering letter in attendance with my CV, and no I will not attach it to this post). I was always pretty good at most subjects, lazy as hell at school and can state with confidence that if I'd worked as hard as some i.e. my sister, I would have a achieved a grade higher in all my exams. But the truth is, I hated working, I had a nice life outside of school and all I wanted to do was play. Now I am grown up, I still love to play, but this time everything costs the earth. I now remain incredibly unfocused on a career in well, anything! I enjoy everything to an extent, and then once I've 'got it' I get bored and look towards something else. I am sure being a fairly logical person that I am capable of most things, so where is that box on totaljobs.com? I am struggling to search for positions because I do not know what the hell to do. This is pretty much eating me up inside. All I know is there isn't a confused.com for 23 year olds' who graduated in a degree without any major career prospects.

Hmmm, the above aside (finding this hard to shove to the back of my mind but still...) my garden is looking stupendous as per, and my rabbits are as usual spoilt and content. Managed to clean my entire house this morning AND do the food shopping...go me. Shame it's back to work tomorrow and a lovely 6 day week to look forward to...woohoo bring on the next 60 hours til freedom comes once again.

Best song in the car:
Don't Break My Heart, UB40



Crappest job to do when cleaning the bathroom:
Shower screen (even Cif is crap these days, I'm sure it's since the 'if' lost the J)

Time I am most likely to wake up at this morning due to unwanted birds:
5am.

Sneezes today:
75.

Glorious Gardens

I have recently discovered a fab blog http://martagon.blogspot.com/ and since this I feel it only natural, pardon the pun, to celebrate my beautiful garden of only one year....and to add in a few lovelies from the Eden Project.

Enjoy!.......Mine:

Eden's: